Finding Perfect Peace


As of late I’ve been struggling emotionally more than I ever have in my life.
I have never blogged about this, and frankly, it scares me to share it with the world. But every ounce of my being wants to conquer the enemy and stand firm in the promise we have in Christ. Maybe you’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, or any other grip that the devil may have on you. I hope my story will show you that you are not alone in your struggle, and that there is mighty power in prayer.
This weekend, even as I was surrounded by some of my closest friends and family at the cabin, I had a pit in my stomach and was angry for no reason at all. I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want to be around people; I just wanted to hide alone, away from everything. Soon, my thoughts were raging in my head. Sometimes, the lies can be so loud that you start to believe them.
You will never be successful.

You’re destined for mediocrity.

You will never measure up.

You aren’t beautiful.

It all hit me at once as I laid in bed with my mom, and soon enough, my chest was tightening, I was sobbing and felt as if the devil himself was talking to me. There are no words to describe the sheer sense of sadness and overpowerment that came over me.I had never really come to grips with the power of my thoughts, until then.

When we give the devil an inch, he takes a mile.

Each day our thoughts are a constant stream of suspicions, fears and doubts. Before we can have peace in our lives, we need to tear down the strongholds that rule our thinking. I let my self-doubt and insecurities come to a level that was unhealthy and sinful. Instead of turning to God, I let all of my negative thoughts  stew inside me. We have freedom from bondage, sin and strongholds in our minds. We just need to be bold enough to believe the truth.

I pray that I never experience that level of anxiety again. I want to be in constant pursuit of perfect peace. Lord, let your hand forever hold me.

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” Isaiah 26:3

Daydreams.


Somedays I just daydream about the future.  If only I could fill my days with picture taking and blogging. More than anything in the world I want to be a mama and take beautiful pictures. I want to decorate my very own house. I want to help people be creative. I want to design. I want to use my abilities to glorify God. Someday I’ll have my very own space to do just that. 
Knowing that God realizes full-well all the desires of my heart brings me peace. I don’t have to worry about finding the perfect job or finding meaning in my life. I just have to take it step by step and trust and believe that someday I will be right where I’m supposed to be.
“Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Turning Towards Love

Confession:

Even though I hate to admit it, I am a critical person. I go through stages where I’d rather not spend time with anyone other than my close friends and family. Sometimes I just get sick of people. I am quick to judge. Quick to criticize. Quick to say things I shouldn’t. However hard that is for me to admit, I know that it is true and I know that I am called to change. 
Today as I was having lunch at a quaint little café I overheard the conversations the cashier was having was with the customers. I was so incredibly blessed by her kindness. Every person during the lunchtime rush was.  She gave out free breadsticks, asked about people’s days and simply showed love. It’s funny how God can speak through even the simplest things.
As I sat at my table overhearing the conversations, it hit me: People are inherently good. We need to look past their flaws and see them for their hearts. Life is too short to view people any differently. My judgment and criticism of others doesn’t leave room for  love– the thing that God calls us to do above all else! We all have people in our lives that are constantly beaming with love and kindness. Choose to be that person today.
XOXO

Surrender.

Do you ever  have one of those days where you wonder how your life is going to piece together and you just break down because your a control freak and it’s scary to give it all to God? Yeah, that was a run-on sentence, but that’s how I’m feeling today. No matter how I try to step away from my faith and do life my own way, a little something called conviction always finds me. Whether its at chapel which I’m not really wanting to be at but I am because I’m giving a tour and the holy spirit smacks me upside the head, or when I’m just walking back from class and it just hits me– God has a plan for my life and it’s all going to be okay. He knows that I hate being single. He knows what my dream job is even when I don’t. He knows ME. The good, the bad and the ugly. Why would I ever want to piece my life together without God? Yes, I could try to do everything my own way, but His way is so much bigger and better. So I surrender. Everything and all of me to you Lord. Take hold of my life and direct it in whichever way you please.



“Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender who you are for what you could become.” 


Choose Joy

Just me & the Aegean sea :) 

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been on this adventure for 2 weeks already.  There have definitely been some ups and downs, and after two weeks of busy schedules filled with archaeological sites and museums, I’m a little burnt out and homesick. When I was feeling down in the dumps yesterday, I called out to God and asked him to give me joy and peace. It’s so amazing to me that not only does the God of the universe hear our prayers, but he answers them! After I called out to God on that bumpy bus ride, he showed up in a big way and rained down on my pity party. One of the girls in the group shared her testimony with me and it completely shifted my perspective. Yes, this trip has been exhausting and a lot of work, but how blessed am I that I get to explore God’s creation? I’m learning so much on this about who I am and what God calls us to be like. I’ve been forced to break out of my shell and to lean on God when I don’t have any other options. With just over a week left, I’m choosing to actively pursue joy!  See you in one week America! XOXOXO