A Girl Without a Plan

There comes a time in one’s college career when Senior year hits and the questions begin to arise as to just what you’re going to do for the rest of your life. Try as I might, I can’t seem to answer this question at the moment.
I’ve talked on here so many times about how we need to trust in God’s plan for our lives and believe that he has good intentions for us. But right now I think there’s more than just lack of trust that’s hampering my view of my future.
I have this innate desire to excel. I am driven to find my niche and be the best that I can in that area. But what exactly does that look like for me? I have so many passions from A to Z that it seems impossible to melt down into one dream career.
Thankfully, I have parents that have spoken destiny into me since i’ve been a little girl. Even when I’m feeling unsure and uncertain about what my future is going to look like, they have complete confidence in me. 
My dad, being the quote king that he is, emailed me a list of goodness to help me through my mid-week breakdown. This one in particular spoke to me in profound ways:

“People are never more insecure than when they become obsessed with their fears at the expense of their dreams.” Norman Cousins

Instead of focusing on my fears and uncertainty, I need to dream. I may not know the exact path I’ll be taking, but I believe that I serve a God who opens doors when they need to be opened. There are endless opportunities in this world, and so many things to go and do and see. So if you ask me what I’ll be doing after graduation next December I may list off 50 things, and I’m perfectly okay with that. 

Even When The Storm Comes.

Even when the rain falls 
Even when the flood starts rising 
Even when the storm comes 
I am washed by the water 

There are so many things in our day-to-day lives that we can choose to let rattle us. When the work piles up and stress creeps in and our joy goes out the door, it’s easy to wallow in our negativity. I  had *this NEEDTOBREATHE song on repeat this week. It’s a reminder to me that God is still good, and faithful, and all-powerful, no matter what our circumstances may be. I am so guilty of letting my negative outlook on things overpower my mind. I want to choose to let joy reign in my life, and praise God no matter what lays before me. 

While I Wait.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us- whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of him.”

I am slowly learning, day by day, that my ideas, thoughts and plans for my life may be different than what God has planned for me. I’ve been wrestling with this idea for the past 3 weeks, and slowly but surely my stubborn mind is starting to believe that God does hear my prayers, even if it doesn’t always seem like it. 
Being back at school is a reminder that I am lacking in the better half department. Couples frolicking through campus can be nauseating at best, but I know that in my heart that I’m secretly envious.

Here’s the good news. God has created these desires in my heart, and only he can fill them. I don’t have to look any further than the King of Kings to meet my unmet needs. God has a plan for you and I that is greater than anything we could ever ask or imagine. He has my perfect, strapping man already picked out for me. I’m just in a season of waiting, and am choosing to seek him above all else while I do just that.
 All to Jesus I surrender, all to him I freely give. 

Let me tell you though, when God decides to bring him along, sweet baby Jesus I will be ready.


25 Years.

Celebrating at Manny’s Steakhouse
If there’s one thing my parents have taught me about marriage it would be the importance of keeping God at the center of your relationship. We all understand that the honeymoon phase of marriage comes to pass. There are seasons of life where it’s smooth sailing, and times when it’s a struggle to keep your family together. I’ve had the fortune of never having to worry that my parents would split up because of their faith. Their marriage has not been perfect, but they have taught me an immeasurable amount of things through their actions. Their selflessness towards each other and unconditional love makes me want to be pursue the love they share. Thank you mom and dad for being the best parents a girl could ask for. I love you so much.
Happy 25th Anniversary.

Melancholy Molly

Currently listening: 
1. Re: Stacks – Bon Iver 
2. After the Storm- Mumford & Sons
3. As Much As I Ever Could-  City and Colour
4. Goodbye in Her Eyes- Zac Brown Band
5. Stones Under Rushing Water- NEEDTOBREATHE
6. Timshel- Mumford & Sons
7. Poison & Wine- The Civil Wars
8. Learn to Love- NEEDTOBREATHE

I’ve been a bit of a  Melancholy Molly this week. Give me a good cup of coffee and some Mumford, and I swear it will cure just about anything. I’ve been thinking a lot about the fact that I head back to Bethel in a few weeks for my senior year of college. How did that happen? Didn’t I just graduate from High School? People say college flies by, but until you’re standing on the other side you don’t realize what they’re talking about. 

I’ve been praying so much that God would help me to live in the moment. I don’t want to wish my summer away. I don’t want to wish this school year away. Because at the end of the day, tomorrow isn’t promised. That was a harsh reminder to me this week. There are people all around us dealing with terrible illness and loss, and we never know when our time will come. I’m so guilty of getting wrapped up in the busyness of life without slowing down to think about the gravity of our situation. Life isn’t eternal. Heaven is. I want to love each day, and put my faith first and foremost, however hard that may be. Getting swallowed up in the busyness of life doesn’t leave much room for God. 

Lord, help me live more simply, keeping my focus on you.